As if turning 30 wasn’t big enough of a new chapter, my wife and I decided to move to a new house in the same week.
We started moving our things across last night and had a little picnic with our parents in the unfurnished home.
But as I was driving back to the old house for one last night, reflecting on the times we shared in it and the whole house-hunting process in general, it struck me that finding and buying a new house is a lot like creating the life we dream of.
Here’s what I mean…
When you’re looking for a new house, the process looks something like this:
- You know what area you want to move to and why (very important). For us, we wanted to be close to our son’s new school, which made the general area pretty easy to choose.
- Once you know the area, you start searching for what’s available in that area.
- You get really clear and on what’s most important to you by knowing what it is you want in a house.
- You get equally clear on what you don’t want.
- As you view more and more houses (good and bad), points 3 and 4 become clearer and you start getting more clarity on what makes up your ideal home.
- Finally, you find a home that ticks most of your boxes, is located in the right area, and makes you feel good on an energetic level (super important!).
It’s important to note that at no point do you set out to live at a specific number on a specific street. Doing so would only set you up for failure and rule out any other homes which could potentially have been a better fit.
Now let’s contrast that to creating our ideal life…
When you’re creating your ideal life, the process looks something like this:
- You know what kind of life you want to experience and why (having a clear vision).
- Once you have that vision, you start experimenting with different options that move you towards it. (These options are usually found at the intersection of what you enjoy doing, what you’re good at doing, and what the world needs.)
- You get really clear on what’s important to you and what you want (your values).
- You get equally clear on what you don’t want (anti-values).
- As you experiment with (not just think about) more and more options (good and bad), you start getting more clarity.
- Finally, you find something that ticks most of your boxes, moves you towards your vision, and makes you feel good on an energetic level (super important!).
However, despite the clear similarities between the two, we somehow develop this idea that we need to have the perfect plan figured out and find our unique purpose by a specific date.
What if, just like the house hunting, you were focused more on what you wanted, what was important to you, and how something made you feel, rather than needing it to look a certain way?
What if, instead of needing to live at a specific number house on a specific street, you were open to discovering an even better “house” (opportunity) that shows up when you least expect it, by consistently taking action towards what it is that you want?
That was our experience.
We viewed several houses, some of which we thought were perfect only to be sold to someone else, before finding what we now see as our ideal (or dare I say, dream) home.
And, if the house (situation) you’re currently in is not your dream home?
Well, then there’s nothing stopping you from starting the house hunting process again.
Know what it is you’re working towards and why, get clear on what’s important to you, and focus on how things make you feel.
Then, with those criteria firmly established, simply commit to doing the work consistently, day in and day out, until one day you pull up to your new address.
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