Yesterday I spoke about focusing on being average, and then good, before trying to be great.
For many people, myself included, that might have been a little triggering.
In fact, I thought about removing the part about ‘mastering average’ completely.
See, here’s the thing…
There’s something I’ve never shared publicly before, and that is my biggest fear.
Wanna know what it is?
Now, that might sound ridiculous, because as a lot of people have pointed out, not much of what I have done is average at all:
- Quitting my engineering job with no plan B is not average.
- Creating a business that allows me to work from anywhere is not average.
- Hosting my own podcast is not average.
- Writing a new article every day is not average.
- Marrying a girl with a son, two dogs and a cat is not average.
- And even with things I can’t control, being 6’7, left-handed, and a twin is not average.
I don’t say these things to brag, but rather to point out the fact that there’s really no validity to the fear that I will die average.
But that’s not really the point, is it? The point is that it still holds power over me.
I’ve had coaching on this, done a bunch of personal work, etc., but what really started to help was to flip the script and look at things from a playful perspective by actually examining what it would look like to die average.
And so I started doing some research…
Here’s what it really means to be average:
- You’d be a 28-year-old Han-Chinese male
- You’d be right-handed
- You’d speak Mandarin
- You’d have no college degree
- You’d have no bank account
- You’d earn less than $12 000 per year
- You’d be about 5’8 tall
- You’d weigh about 137 pounds/62kg
- You’d be an only child
This is obviously pretty laughable, but the lesson here is clear: it’s almost impossible to be, or die, average.
Now that we’ve got that out the way, let’s look at what might be possible if we know for a fact that the fear is only a story.
Channeling my inner Byron Katie:
Is there a peaceful reason to hold on to the thought that you will die average? (I doubt it.)
Who would you be without the thought that you would die average?
And most importantly, how would you show up differently if you knew that no matter what you did or didn’t do, you would never be average?
I know I’m not the only one who just felt a weight lifted…
Suddenly, there’s permission to create and experiment and explore the things we’ve always dreamed of.
Actually, I think that’s what’s really present here.
Not the fear that we will die average, but that we will get to the end of our days feeling like we still had more to give.
And the best way to overcome that?
Start giving now, before needing to know how it all works out at the end.
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