Have To Vs Get To: The Small Distinction That Will Change Your World

Every now and then I come across a small distinction that completely shifts my view on something and opens up a whole new world of possibility.

This particular distinction came while reading an article several years ago by James Clear.

The reason I decided to share it today is that I was on a coaching call with a client yesterday and he was feeling a little stressed out about everything on his plate.

On the surface, you’d be quick to agree with him. He’s working a full-time job, completing his masters degree, AND running his own business with a partner. Oh yeah, and trying to fit in his personal life somewhere in between all that!

During the conversation, I mentioned how this distinction had made such an impact on me and how it might be helpful for him.

I was right.

After seeing things through this new lens, the weight of the conversation completely lifted and he left with a renewed sense of purpose and focus.

So what is this small distinction?

“Have To” vs “Get To”.

Rather than telling himself that he has to balance all these things, I reminded my client that he gets to do all these things.

In the world we live in, there are people who would love the opportunity to have a full-time job that pays the bills, a masters-level education (or any education for that matter), and their own business that’s making a positive impact in the world.

My client then shared his own reflection that the things he has been viewing as a burden are actually a massive opportunity that someone else would love to have.

I had no idea I was coaching Yoda.

AND, I love it when I can help a client to have their own powerful insights like this.

The problem is that all too often, it becomes easy to see our responsibilities in life as a burden.

We have to go to work.

We have to fetch the kids.

We have to go to gym.

How would your world shift if you replaced these with:

I get to go to work.

I get to fetch my kids.

I get to go to the gym.

The change is one small word, but the difference is immense.

The next time you’re feeling overburdened, try to see how the things that are stressing you out are really just a blessing and opportunity that you’ve chosen to overlook.

Then, have fun reframing them from ‘have to’ to ‘get to’ as you get back to making your impact in the world.