Asking “Who Am I?” Is The Wrong Question (Ask This Instead)

Yesterday I spoke about authenticity and how just being “yourself” is not enough. Instead, we need to get clear on our ideal self and show up as that person, day in and day out.

And, if you’re playing any smaller than you’re capable of playing, you’re being inauthentic.

Essentially, it’s not about being yourself, but about becoming yourself.

Which got me thinking…

In that article, I also mentioned how the central theme of all my work focuses on helping people answer the question of “Who am I?”

But if I dig a little deeper and think about it a little, that’s not entirely accurate.

Instead, we should really be asking, “Who am I becoming?”

Allow me to explain (and hear me out here)…

See, “I” is nothing more than a story or opinion you have created based on the experiences of your life (mostly your childhood) and your interpretation of those stories.

If you tried to ask a girl out and she laughed at you, you might have created a story that you’re not cool enough or that asking for what you want is a waste of time that only causes pain.

(By the way, the example above is not a personal one. I never had the courage to get that far.)

If you grew up hearing or witnessing your parents being super careful with money, you might have created a story that money is a finite resource that we can’t afford to let go of (which in turn means you’ll never get much of it).

And if you experienced some kind of trouble with your weight and got teased, you might have created a story that you’ll never be attractive enough.

But here’s the good news: If you made up those stories, you have the power to write a new chapter or rewrite the whole damn thing.

There’s another awesome quote which illustrates this power, although the original source is a bit of a debate:

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”

That, my friends, is reinvention in a beautifully poetic nutshell.

So, coming back to our question again: Who are you becoming?

As I mentioned in my article Stop Stopping, it’s not about where you are right now. What matters more is whether your current actions and trajectory are lining you up to become the ultimate, authentic version of You.

Keep doing those things on a consistent basis, unattached to the outcome, with a clear view of the desired result, until one day, when you least expect it, you hit the Breakthrough Point where your previous stories are torn up, new ones are written, and true reinvention occurs.